Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
