And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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