Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
