12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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