If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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