Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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