So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
