Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize