No stitches, just platelets and will power
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
