So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
