You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
