So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
it's like heaven, but drunker
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
