dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
