True but thats because hes a fetus.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize