Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
