I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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