We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Randomize
