Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
