It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
