I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
