Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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