Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
