If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's never too late to be topless.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i think i just lost a toe
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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