so explain again why im purple
no
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I want a musical about memes.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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