Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
