she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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