I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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