Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
