he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize