I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
