Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
They are going to name an STD after you.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
