Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
