Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You are the jesus of drinking
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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