So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize