Can Purell be used as lube?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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