so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
