I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
