Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
