I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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