i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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