What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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