Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
