I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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