Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
