No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize