Who wears a wallet chain?!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
