I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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