hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
