Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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