David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize