He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
