i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
