Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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