is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
