I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
