There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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