3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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