Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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