i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
