I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
