i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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