Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
