Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
