Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
