My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
did i just pee glitter
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
