Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
