you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
