Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
