just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
