You made me cry and you don't even care
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
