Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
