what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
