Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
