exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
