2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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